so crazy in lost.

whats been up buttacup. damnnn, where am i. "its been a trip" ..is the only way i can describe what ive been doing and feeling lately. (take that in whatever way you want) ..lots of woulda's, some coulda's, and definitely a lot of shoulda's. to re-call everything would be impossible, so for your curiosity and reading pleasure ill just update you with the recent events that stand out. i'll take it back to october 19th, the night that shoulda changed my life. heard what i needed to hear, knew what i had to do, had to the help to do it ..and yet again, i found a way to go downhill from there. that week was jus straight up overwhelming to begin with. the 23rd always bitch slaps me in the face and this year didnt fail to bring the pain. of course, with schrollaween around the corner, my partyboy side wouldnt let that get the best of me. ..on thursday, spiderman and i mobbed out to the heist. suprise daft punk set? be jealous. easily made my halloween for me cause friday was just filled with frustration, mixed feelings, shady business, broken bongs, ducked phone calls and too much alcohol. not a good combo. i've been over it though. besides all that.. most of my time went to papers galore, sportsfest playoffs, and runing away/hiding from everything. thank god for last weekend though. "stopped by" an acoustic show with my NFL's. (niggas fa life) and a special guest. traditional knights sleepover took place after at the crackhouse. i'll never forgive myself for deleting the video of ej's classic speech that night. dammit. and im not even gonna front, the fires that weekend kinda scared me. but the highlight of the weekend was championship game on sunday. im just gonna make its own seperate post after this because i can. but for the last week or so ..i've just been chillin. a little too hard. if you catch my drift.. but today i realized how much i could be doing and that i've just been holding myself back. whenever i get this bi-monthly realization, i always say ..its about time to man the fuck up and handle thy business. but i always seem to find a way back to square uno. in the words of the late great aaliyah .."dust yourself off, and try again."

now i leave you with a few random thoughts: happy mothafuckin birthday to all you november mothafuckers. kost103.5 during the holidays = guilty pleasure. myself and crown royal still arent on the best of terms. i want a pitbull. im back thrashin on the board. i need to write. stop stealing my lighters. im not rude. and chocolate chip > sugar.

love it.